Watching those dramatic rescue clips made me think about my own nursing career

Seeing nurses in the news and feeling strange about it

I was scrolling through my feed the other day and saw one of those viral videos where nurses rushed out of a cafe to perform CPR on a stranger in the middle of the street. Everyone in the comments was leaving heart emojis, calling them heroes. I just stared at my phone for a long time. It feels weirdly detached when you do the same job. You see the adrenaline, the sweat, the frantic rhythm of chest compressions, and it’s not really a heroic movie scene—it’s just Tuesday. My shift as an occupational health nurse usually involves managing repetitive strain injuries or helping someone with a minor burn from the breakroom microwave. I haven’t had to jump into a street scene like that, and honestly, the thought of doing it makes my palms sweat.

The endless cycle of NCLEX and agency emails

Lately, I’ve been buried in these thick NCLEX prep books. It’s been months since I actually sat down with a textbook like this. There’s this persistent itch to look toward the U.S. or at least somewhere outside of the local clinical routine. I’ve been getting these generic emails from international nursing agencies—you know the ones, talking about ‘guaranteed pathways’ and ‘relocation support.’ I signed up for a newsletter on one site, and now they flood my inbox every Monday. They talk about salary ranges like $70,000 to $90,000 depending on the state, but then I remember the cost of living in those cities and the sheer isolation of moving halfway across the globe. It feels like a massive leap for someone who spends most of her day documenting health check-ups and organizing file cabinets.

The reality of medical volunteer work versus the actual job

I also read a piece about a group of orthopedic surgeons and nurses doing a service trip in Cambodia. They treated hundreds of people in places where hospitals aren’t even a concept. It sounded incredibly noble, but then they mentioned the difficulty of even getting people to understand why they needed a check-up in the first place. That resonated with me in a cynical way. Even in a modern office, I struggle to get employees to actually come in for their scheduled screenings. People hate being interrupted. They think they’re fine until they aren’t. Watching those volunteers, I wondered if I have that kind of patience, or if I’m just burnt out on the concept of ‘preventative care’ entirely.

Rethinking the path I took years ago

I remember back when I was a high school senior, feeling totally lost between choosing a major that would lead to a stable job or one I actually liked. Someone told me, ‘If you want to be safe, just go into nursing or dental hygiene. You’ll always have work.’ I followed that advice, and they weren’t wrong. I’ve never been unemployed. But there’s a persistent, nagging feeling of being stuck in a box I built for myself a decade ago. Now, looking at USMLE prep materials for friends who are trying to become doctors in the States, I wonder if the grass is truly greener or if it’s just a different shade of brown. The medical hierarchy is so different there. I still haven’t figured out if I’m actually serious about moving or if I’m just bored of my commute.

No clear answers, just more paperwork

I’m currently staring at a stack of forms for a language proficiency test I haven’t signed up for yet. It costs about $250, which feels like a waste if I decide to stay put. I talk to my colleagues about it, and they usually just laugh and ask if I’m tired of the free office coffee. Maybe I am. Or maybe I’m just looking for something to shake up the monotony of the IV practice kits and the endless safety audits. I don’t have a grand plan. I just have a desk full of brochures and a mounting suspicion that no matter where I go, I’ll still be the person in the breakroom hoping I don’t have to deal with a medical emergency during my lunch hour.